To Ride on Past Wings
by Bardic Jester
Summary: One Shot. One afternoon Duo arrives at WuFei's office. It's been ten years since the events of Endless Waltz and since they have seen each other. Why has Duo returned now? What is he trying to discouver and how does it involve the other Gundam pilots?


"How have you been?"

"I've been good, mostly, mostly good."

It was weird.

He had always thought there was something special about them. The circumstances had brought them together in such a unique way. He had seen more than others could dream, and there was only a small handful who knew what that meant. Yet here he was, in this stuffy office, feeling as if he was talking to a stranger. Had they ever shared a conversation in which they connected? There weren't any moments coming to mind. To be honest, most moments had melted into each other at this point; all of those times had burned with such intensity they felt as distant as dreams.

It had been many years since he had been on earth. There is a slight gravitational shift when switching from artificial levels to natural levels. He was feeling it, slowly it felt as if the muscles on his legs were being dragged towards the floor. The climate felt overwhelming and antagonistic. He had grown accustomed to the man made weather of the colonies, where the temperature was always a comfortable mild. The humidity here was choking him.

"How have you been WuFei?" he asked in a curious tone.

WuFei did not reply right away. He sat there looking at his hands; his eyes looked unfocused and distant. "I've been well, very well actually." He responded in a monotone voice. "It's quite the pleasure to see you, Duo. It's been too long, a lot has changed."

Duo smiled at the continued pleasantries. "It's been almost nine years brother, and longer since I've been on Earth."

Wu Fei's office was large and conspicuous. Duo was used to the rationing of space found in the colonies, where every square foot was used close to its maximal efficiency. On Earth the rules were different, especially in older buildings. The amount of space WuFei seemed to actually be using was only a small portion. Great book shelves lined the walls, generally full. Whether anyone ever read the books, Duo doubted. On the other end of the room was a fire place and a lounge area seperate from the work area. WuFei sat on the other side of a great maple desk from Duo. The surface was covered with different computers and papers. Behind WuFei a great window showed off the expanse of green surrounding the compound.

Duo thought to himself how different it was to see WuFei in such a position. His mind brought him back to those days in the Gundams, when their employment was anything but normal. "Yeah, it's been too long. Looks like you've been taking care of yourself. This is a nice place." He paused momentarily, "I was pretty surprised when I found out you worked here. To think, of all people, you'd be the one who run this place."

"Don't you fucking dare tell anyone about that!" WuFei yelled in a spontaneous bout of anger. It reminded Duo of WuFei back when their mission originally turned sour. It was nice to see the hot headed kid was still in there somewhere. WuFei did not waver, his stance stayed fim. He raised from his chair, seemingly preparing to counter any moves from Duo.

"No worries man," Duo assured, "We all have skeletons we'd like to forget about. No good would come from bringing them up."

Lake Victoria Military Base, Duo remembered the mission. 'Great success,' was how it had been described to him by his superior at that time. It was before they had been left behind by the scientists. Back then the mission was easy, he only needed to follow orders. Later he missed the simplicity of those times, when he did not need to think and make such hefty decisions. How many mistakes had he made back then? How young had he been? How he would have wished for a couple more years of experience before having to perform such terrible deeds. His mistakes had cost lives. He never found a way to make peace with that.

Considering the destruction of the base, as Duo understood it, the building looked well restored. As he always did, he looked up the base's history before coming -as well as its floor plan, defences, computer systems and many others, some of which he needed to break a few laws to discover. The base had been decommissioned during the war, no one was willing to put forward the money to rebuild the facility. It was only after the end of the Christmas rebellion, when earth decided it needed to train more elite mobile fighters that the decision to rebuild was made.

WuFei had calmed down and sat back in his chair, satisfied with Duo's response. He knew things which could destroy Duo if he ever told anyone them; it was peace by mutually assured destruction. "It's not too surprising really. When they finished rebuilding this place, they needed instructors to teach the new pilots. I'd been in the Preventers for a few years at that point, and when they found out about my dossier I was put on the top of the list for potential hires. From that point on I guess it's just good luck that I got to the position I'm in, if a little ironic."

"I'm glad to see you've been able to put your skills for good use," Duo added. "I've not been so lucky in that way, then again I think I would be happy if I never fly another mobile suit again." Sometimes he had imagined flying a mobile suit once more when he flew a space shuttle, but even that was too much of a trigger at times.

An unfortunate aftermath of the space battles those ten years ago was the large groups of flying mobile suit parts still travelling in the vastness of space. Whenever such a cluster would fly by _02 Aeaea_, Duo would fly out to collect spare parts or to disable them if their calculated trajectory was too close to the colony. According to inertia, the first law of motion, until the debris hit something it was going to continue to travel. It was a necessary job, but it was tough to do. He was continually reminded of the fights he had fought; he still sometimes found corpses frozen in the cockpits of their destroyed suit.

There was a brief silence as WuFei seemed to think about what Duo had just said. Duo suspected he was thinking back to the Christmas revolution, when WuFei had fought on the wrong side because of his desire to keep fighting. It must be tough to live with such a heavy burden, but then again Duo had just the same weight on his shoulders. "It took some getting used to, but I'm happy. I feel as if I get to make up for my lack of honour here," WuFei said.

Maybe as an unconscious action, or maybe a deliberate way to comfort himself, WuFei started to play with his wedding band. The ring was small and golden; his grip on it was soft and delicate. Duo smiled at the action, it was not something he would have expected WuFei to do. "I hear you're married now. Congratulations."

WuFei's eyes shot up towards Duo's. He was obviously protective of his family, especially from his past. Duo assumed he was part of the past WuFei wanted to forget and let go of. When WuFei stared at Duo, Duo smiled back with a genuine sincerity. WuFei, surprisingly, smiled back. "Yeah, we're getting close to five years now. Her name's Clarrisa. Sally introduced us at Bourton." It was the strangest of moments, for WuFei spoke with such warmth in his voice. The cold chill that accompanied whatever he said, was gone for that brief moment.

"That's great man, great. I'm happy for you, really." Duo held his breath momentarily. He looked out of the window behind WuFei. The grass spread out endlessly into the horizon; it reminded him of the infinity of possibilities. How easily things could have been so different. How easily it would have been to be happy, had he only chosen that blade of grass.

Could he have, under different circumstances, lived a normal life and settled down? If it was possible, Duo was skeptical of the chances. The first memories he had were of such anarchy and violence on the streets; Solo's outstretched hands with no one to help. The last couple of years had been the most sedimentary and quiet, but the explosions still rocked in his head. Fire, no matter where he traveled, followed the collar and those beliefs he once foolishly held.

But now, in front of a friend for the first time in years, was not the time to dwell on lost possibilities. He desired to say something and to help connect with WuFei, but no words were coming to him. It would be humorous at a later time, Duo joked to himself. The two of them were so used to such extraordinary circumstances, such simple normal parts of life were impossible to talk about. Duo had no idea whether to ask further, but he knew it was better to keep silent. It was how the five of them had lived their lives, only Duo had lived his talking. But it was the deepest and emptiest of all of the silence.

WuFei, seemingly with the same awkwardness Duo was enjoying, stood up from his chair. He motioned Duo to stand as well. The two of them walked towards the lounge area of the office, and Duo seated himself in some ornate chair. It felt weird to sit in such luxury, he probably could not afford his kind of a chair in a year of work. Granted he never wished to make money, but the money would not be for him. He'd have loved to give the privilege, or to give love.

Once Duo sat on the antique chair, WuFei moved to the bar by the fireplace. Duo stared at it for a second, for he had not noticed the bar before. Duo noticed everything. His excellent perceptive abilitues were why he was so good at reconaisance and espionage. Maybe he was becoming sloppy over time, or maybe he was beginning not to care about every item in a room.

The bar was rested on the shelves of one of the book cases next to the fireplace. On its surface a handful of different bottles were lined in an aesthetically pleasing arrangement. Glasses were stacked against an edge; a hidden freezer filled with what must have been mixers and ice lay behind a row of fake books. The set up seemed elaborate and unnecessary. The position of running the base required networking, the bar was probably an effect of such a system.

Picking what seemed to Duo to be the most impressive bottle on the bar, WuFei poured two scotch on the rocks. The caramel colour bled slightly around the ice when Duo was handed his glass. Hesitant he smelled the harsh aroma; the last time he had drank such nice liquor seemed distant. The golden drink was a reminder of what he did not get to enjoy in his own humble life. "To old friends," WuFei raised his glass and took a large drink.

"Old friends," Duo returned the gesture.

WuFei sat on the chair next to Duo's and leaned back on the leather. He turned towards Duo. "You are not wearing a wedding band, I assume you're not married then? Did you and that Hilde girl not work out?"

The bitter taste hung in his mouth; a smooth line crawled up his tongue. As he breathed he felt the touch of the drink repeated, it helped to avoid the question. Solemn, he responded with half truths. "When _02 Aeaea _decided to go off the grid, we made a choice to forgo certain social constructs we deemed unnecessary at the time. Marriage was one of those." Duo stared at the part of his finger where the ring would be, if he was married. It looked rough and ugly. Scars danced around in rows; such awful marks could not be cleaned off.

"Oh, then are you and Hilde still together than? Married but without the name?" WuFei asked. Duo turned his head to stare at WuFei. To ask such questions was uncharacteristic of him. WuFei kept to himself. He was uninterested with everyone else's lives, he only cared about the mission. Duo could not understand why WuFei would want to know about his personal life. Maybe WuFei had changed? Duo was skeptical.

Before Duo could think too long along that train of thought, he had to focus on answering WuFei's question. It was an idea did not wish to construct. He'd spent so much time avoiding the sentiments. "No."

If Duo had turned his head, he wondered what he would have seen on WuFei's face. "Oh, that's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that. If you would like it, I'll drop the subject," Wufei interjected

It was all too vivid in his head, that night. There had been a wake for a young man who had died on a shipment run. It brough back such repressed memories pouring out of his eyes. The war and death, it felt ever at hand. He'd been having nightmares. It was overcoming him. She'd been beside him, and she asked to help, and he turned her away. They'd been there, those bodies, but what were they really? Were they lies? It felt like it now and then. He felt as if he had given her a sharp blade of grass, and had stolen those years she'll never get back.

A laugh built up in Duo, how strange this all was! He was talking with an old friend, or as close to an old friend as he had, about his personal life. He'd never been in this sort of situation before. It seemed slightly tragic when expressed that way. Before he knew what he was doing, he started to laugh out loud. How bizarre it must have looked to WuFei.

It took a couple of seconds to compose himself, but when he did, Duo turned his face stoic and stared at WuFei. "This has been fun, but lets cut the charade and discuss what I came here for." He finished the last of his drink in one gulp. The bitterness tightened his face, and his could feel the cool numbness tingle his cheeks. His mind was clear.

WuFei nodded and drowned his as well. "Alright my old friend, what brings you to my office after all these years?"

"Nothing I expect you not to know already."

WuFei stood up from his chair and moved towards the bar. Taking out the bottle of scotch, he poured himself another drink. The few flashes of joy Duo had noticed before on WuFei's face were gone. WuFei had changed back into the head of the Lake Victoria Military Base. Each action was professional and calculated; there were no accidents in his movement.

The two stayed in silence. It was broken only when WuFei would take a sip from his glass. Duo stared at the fireplace directly in front of his chair. The fire, probably artificial, danced in rows. It was fitting, the artificialness of the whole room was overwhelming. To attempt and recapture the prestige of the past was a fool's game. Then again, everything was a fool's game.

Duo had tried to recapture what had been in the past, only to find it impossible to return. Even more he had tried to create, create what he had always wished was there and what others had believed was there. But whatever she felt, when the two of them touched, was alien to Duo. The feelings felt exterior, such a cruel sensation!

His heart was heavy, he was hesitant to reopen the doors. He'd witnessed so much, and it felt ever distant. There was no reason this was more special, but it was a reminder. It was a reminder of the name, his name! The name he'd tried so hard to forget.

"Three months ago _02 Aeaea_ was attacked by a band of mercenaries," Duo began. "They had three military issue combat shuttles, and ten heavily armed men. Thankfully when we went off the grid we decided to install an exhaustive defensive system if we ever got attacked. The defense systems were able to take out two of the shuttles, and Hilde was able to destroy the third. " He took a breath, deep. "We may have survived, but we hardly won. They hit hard; we suffered casualties." He tried not to image the events again. Instead he stared at the fire more intensely, hoping to have the flames ingrained into his head. His eyes twitched in the brightness. The retinas vibrated with ever intensity. Maybe the memories would burn up if there was enough fire. Maybe he could remove all of it, if he was willing to burn it all up.

He tried to keep his face stoic, but in reality he was drained. It had been so emotionally and physically exhausting, he was heavy on his head and tongue. The gravity pushed him to the ground, even in the chair he felt strained to stay upwards. It wasn't only the gravity though, it was himself. He was dragging himself down.

WuFei poured another drink. "I'm sorry to hear about that Duo. It's always tough when people close to you are hurt." He paused momentarily. "Did you come here looking for help? I'm sure the Preventers are working hard to search them down." Another pause, this time longer, "if you're looking for a mobile suit to go after them yourself, then unfortunately, and no matter how much I may wish to give you the personal revenge, I won't be able to do that."

Duo Maxwell, former Gundam pilot, lost himself momentarily. He blacked out for the brief moment; the consciousness and control fell between his fingers. At a time he may have exploded, it was what had kept him alive during all of those battles, but now there was nothing to fight and no one to hurt.

Just as quickly as he lost himself, he regained control of his facilities. His hand was empty and he stood before his chair. The glass he'd been drinking from was in pieces, broken across one of the walls. Shards dripped down the surface, scratching the paint as they dragged. His other hand bled. The nails had dug into the skin. Red painted his fingerprints.

It had been a long time since he'd lost himself, but he felt relieved. The frustration had built in him for so long, it was pleasant to be liberated. His libido was satisfied, momentarily.

He turned his face to see WuFei aiming a pistol at him. In a calm voice, WuFei demanded: "you will not do that again. such behaviour is not to be tolerated in my office. If you desire me to remove you from this room, perhaps by force, I will more than willingly comply. Our past means something, but not to this extent."

Duo, with a newly leveled head, felt ashamed. He had not intended to have had such a violent response. Slowly, he was reminded of his anger, although it came with an apologetic air. "Sorry, that was uncalled for. I am just so fucking sick of all of this lying. Do you honestly take me to be so stupid as to believe this shit? I know you; I know how good you are; I know that you know that I know how good you are. Cut the crap!"

Resigned Duo sat back down on his chair. WuFei stopped pointing the pistol at him; it rested at WuFei's side. Trying to recapture his barrings, Duo continued, "We were able to capture about three of the group. After some civil interrogation they were willing to tell of us of why they had attacked us."

WuFei stayed standing. His look was obsequious, his sips irrelevant.

Duo stared his hand, the details on his fingers had been covered. The scarlet warning dripped, tracing the lines. "Apparently this group was from _04 Ogygia_, but were part of a larger network. They called themselves Calypso.

"They'd been facing a crack down, mostly from the Preventers. The fuckers claim it isn't going well, they laughed at the Preventers inability to stop them." He turned to look at WuFei directly. "Recently, a new group has started to try and limit their activities. They aren't Preventers, or at least these three don't think they are. This new group has been much more effective than the Preventors, for they have a weapon no one outside of the Earth Sphere Alliance army should have: Mobile Suits. No one, not even the Earth Sphere Alliance are allowed to have Mobile Suits in the colonies. Smuggling them, due to their size, is nearly impossible, no matter how much influence they have.

"These Calypso guys seem to think the Mobile Suits must be made somewhere in the colonies. Even if this were true, all of the factories were destroyed after the war. I personally decommissioned dozens. To manufacture them, would require building a whole new factory. It couldn't be a group of competing punks then, this other force must have money and power, and lots of it.

"It seems their intelligence led them to believe Quatre was the one making the suits and arming this other group. Considering his past and resources, it's not such an unreasonable guess.

"The group who attacked Aeaea, were the part of Calypso in charge of finding this mobile suit manufacturing factory. There orders were to either destroy the building, or take control of it. Since they believed Quatre was the one funding the group, they started to search through his trading records. A pretty smart move if you ask me; I would have done the same. In the records they found _02 Aeaea_, a colony that went off the grid a few years ago and still trades with the Winner family. It would seem like the perfect place to stash a secret Mobile Suit factory. Turns out they guessed too well in a sense, as they found a greater weapon than any mobile suit there: the angel of death."

Duo stopped for a moment. WuFei's face looked professional and stoic, no longer affected perhaps. He moved towards the chair next to Duo's, the pistol was rested in a holster on his waist. "Seems like a tragic misunderstanding. Still does not explain why you've returned to Earth" he stated.

With a distressed look, Duo responded. "Soon after the attack I had to visit Quatre. I was curious, admittedly, about the story of the captured mercenaries, but it was not the only reason I went. We don't have a lot of money in _02 Aeaea_, and we needed a loan to rebuild some of our infrastructure. A big loan really, we were hurt. I hoped if I asked Quatre in person he'd not refuse, so I went to him directly.

"The visit went well. You know Quatre, he's always happy to have a visit from one of us. It was kind of nice, to live in such luxury for a while, we hadn't quite enjoyed that for some time." Duo looked straight at WuFei. "This is where my visit comes in. When I asked Quatre about what the mercenary said, he responded with all of the expected remarks. What he may of not expected, was my stealing of his bodyguard's ID tag. Or maybe he did, Quatre's as smart as either of us, he could have let me grab it.

"A quick search in some databases I should not have been able to access showed this body guard was an elite Mobile Suit pilot, trained at the Lake Victory Military Base. It came together pretty easily after that. When I discouvered your prestigious position, it became all too clear."

WuFei quickly jumped in, "how do you know? Maybe it is a coincidence?"

Duo stood up from his chair agitated. "Bullshit! You know as well as I do that combat on the lighter gravity of the colonies is far too different from hand to hand combat on earth and especially from mobile suit fighting. No matter if he was an elite Mobile Suit pilot, he'd be a shitty colony bodyguard."

Now Duo was irate. "You fuckers! You motherfucking shit heads! You're continuing the mission! You won't let it end, ever! And now I'm brought back into this! It's all crap is what it is." His hands were shaking. Blood between his fingers started to splatter on his lap, and he grabbed his fist with his other hand to help stabilize it.

He'd known it would be a constant throughout his life. It had only taken time for it to catch up with him. But what he could not reconcile was the sedimentary time he had the past couple of years. Why had he not been able to enjoy it? Why had, when he did escape all of the killing and death, did his life not improve? It felt absurd! Was it impossible for him to be happy, and for him to enjoy the wonder hand he had been given? Why was life so unreasonable?

And she'd given it on such terms, of most gentle and sincere. How had been not been able to grasp it?

WuFei stood up. One of his hands rested on the pistol, he rested the other on Duo's shoulder. "Calm down," he assured. How novel it was to have WuFei try to calm down someone else, it seemed almost silly to Duo! "I'm sure we can discuss this, in a quieter tone, I hope. No good can come from having our voices raised."

Duo felt overwhelmed by his emotions. A desire to retaliate or to fight built up within him. Yet, it felt wrong to feel such things. He was not here to continue fighting, he was here to stop fighting. "I just can't believe you guys. We were finished. The mission ended."

"You know that isn't true Duo," WuFei tried to explain. He moved back towards the bar. "That Christmas may have put an end to Project Meteor, but the mission is more than that. We were fighting for the colonies, and for peace. There may never be an end, but we must keep fighting."

Duo watched as WuFei poured two more glasses. Exhausted, feeling the earthly gravity pull him stronger towards the ground, he fell back into his chair. "No, you're missing the point. The mission that ended on that Christmas was not just Project Meteor, but using force and mobile suits to bring peace. Project Meteor was the colonies forcing peace, and it failed. How could you guys go back?"

"You're simplifying things." WuFei brought the two glasses towards Duo. Handing one to Duo, WuFei took a sip from the other glass. "We try, as hard as possible, to avoid force in response to threats. But sometimes it's still necessary and to not use force would only allow the problem to continue and worsen. We will not allow this Calypso group turn into another White Fang."

"But you are!" Duo yelled. WuFei gave him a cold stare of disapproval. Feeling a little ashamed, Duo focused on the glass between his fingers. The drink hung around half full of the glass. Nights of drinking himself into oblivion resurfaced. They had been fun when there had been two, but alone it was crushing. Resilient, he downed the drink quickly to avoid the motifs. Turning back to WuFei he continued "don't you understand? The group attacked my colony because they needed more force to respond to you. You're the reason they want mobile suits. You've created the need for more fighting by fighting back!"

WuFei's face was slowly turning rough, with few expressed lines. Duo wished he could read WuFei's face, but it was an ability he never had. WuFei could cut himself off completely from the outside, and there was no way to break through his constructed facade. Slowly, WuFei began "you're suggesting there is an alternative. This group can not be reasoned with. They are a bunch of punks who want to steal and fuck whatever and whoever they can. No one has ever received a list of demands from them, they only want more violence."

"And you're more than willing to give it to them." Holding his face, Duo felt the exhaustion once more. A sickness grew in his stomach, crawling and aching. "You're giving them what they want, just like we gave Oz what they wanted."

In a sudden flash WuFei's demeanor changed. His face was covered in rage. It was probably taking many years of self restraint to keep him from standing forward in a tirade of indigence. "How dare you compare this to that! The two are not remotely similar. You're not being reasonable!"

Duo felt unsure. He stared back into his empty glass. How fittingly representative of himself; he was sick. "How can you do it?" His voice was coarse. If he could overcome his anxiety, he would have looked at WuFei's face, but instead he was afraid. He was always afraid. "How can you keep going? We've fucked up so many times, so many times. I would have thought after Christmas, that you'd have been the most done with all of this."

WuFei stood up from his chair and walked back to his desk. When he reached the wood, he slowly brushed his hand over the surface. "After Christmas, I would never have expected things to have turned out the way they did." His voice was low and the syllables unpronounced. His mind was far away. "It's all surreal. Sometimes I wake feeling like I'm in a dream.

"I have a son now, you know? You probably do, I doubt you would have come here without first extensively looking up my life. I never expected to have children, ever." He turned from the desk and moved to the window looking over the grass.

Slowly, WuFei raised his hand and started to rub it against the window. Duo believed he was tracing out a pattern, perhaps the way he attacked this same base so many years prior, but Duo did not know for sure. "After Christmas I felt numb. My need for battle had overwhelmed my body for so long, that I didn't have anything afterwards. Whatever was left of me felt gone."

WuFei stopped for a moment. He let his hand fall from the window and rest at his side. "It may sound weird coming from me, but I guess I was saved." He swallowed deeply, still refusing to show any sort of emotion. "I have Sally to thank for everything I have. She guided me then, and I was so lost. I was starting to believe my hands could do nothing but destruction, but she showed how I," he paused mid sentence.

Turned away from where Duo could see, WuFei was undefined. Duo felt for a moment as if he should move to try to uncover the reason for the pause, but it faded quickly. It was novel to talk of such personal matters between friends. There were no guides or past experiences to help dictate how to move. Perhaps the awkwardness was in the realisation that they both held onto parts of themselves they never shared.

A moment before Duo decided he would interject, WuFei continued: "Yet then, at those moments I never lost sight of the mission. I made that mistake at Christmas, but instead of running away from it I decided I would learn from it. No more will I choose the wrong side and fight when there could be peace."

"Those are honourable sentiments," Duo tentatively agreed, "but they are not true for me, not anymore. I wish," he paused momentarily to organise his thoughts "I wish I could just escape it. I'm tired, so very fucking tired."

A silence grew between them for a few seconds. In was in these moments their lack of connection became ever more apparent. They had a past together; they had shared some tough times; they were some of their only friends, yet they had no idea to relate to one another. In truth, at least Duo felt, he had no idea how to relate to anyone at all.

To break the silence, perhaps WuFei tried empathy. "I understand, sometimes we all try to run away from this."

"No you don't. Not in the way I do; not in the way I do," Duo repeated. It felt cold, but truth does not need to be comforting.

He appreciated WuFei's try, but he saw through it. It was thin anyway. "How many of you are involved?" Duo asked. WuFei moved towards the chair he'd been sitting in moments before. Duo continued his enquiry, "Quatre's probably running it; hell, I bet it was his idea. I tried to contact Trowa before I came to Earth and the circus told me he'd been fired a few years ago due to repeated disappearances. They haven't seen him since, I bet that has something to do with this."

"Heero's the head of the Sanc defense force, another group who has a tendancy of recruiting pilots from this base. Admittedly Relena would never let him participate in this, so either he's doing it behind her back or that's just a coincidence. I'm not sure to be honest, I haven't seen him in longer than you. Some best friend eh? Aren't we a bunch?"

WuFei stayed silent. When he was sure Duo was done, he added "you know I can't tell you anything about that."

Laughing to himself, Duo nodded. "I know. I don't know why I asked." He fiddled with the pockets of his coat momentarily. "Do you mind if I smoke in here?" A smile grew across his face as he found his pack.

With reserve, WuFei responded, "of course. This is a public building, all smoking is prohibited."

Duo ignored WuFei's answer. He lit the cigarette he had put between his lips with indifference. The drag felt refreshing as he got his fix.

Annoyed, WuFei grabbed the cigarette out of Duo's mouth. Staring directly at Duo with perturbed eyes, he put it out in the drink he was holding. "Why do you smoke Duo? You know it will kill you."

Duo, who guess he was about as annoyed as WuFei, replied with candor. "That's the whole fucking point. I've given so many oaths and promises, if I just killed myself it wouldn't help anyone. So I've decided to kill myself slowly. When I get cancer, everyone will be expecting it and will be able to make plans accordingly. It seems like the most humane sort of suicide."

It had been kept inside of him, but it was also true. He didn't remember when he thought of it, or when he decided to follow through with it, but he thought of it each day when he looked at himself in the mirror. She did not know, understandably, but he bet she knew. She always seemed to know things about him, but at the same time she knew so little, for there was nothing to know. Nothing was true of him. He sure knew nothing of her. Why did she stay in their bed? It felt cold when it was warm, and sick otherwise. The sense had escaped him before and rested outside of his reach. A time may come to discouver it, but he felt it slowly dissolving away. He would never get any of those moments back. His blade of grass was final. Why then did she choose such a sour one? Why did she choose to waste her life, as it was the only one she was ever going to get.

WuFei stood up from his chair to put his now cigarette filled glass back on his bar. "Duo, you're a mess." His tone was judgemental.

"I've always been a mess man, it's the only way I know how to live," Duo responded.

In an uncharacteristic fashion, WuFei chuckled a little under his breath. Duo was surprised, had WuFei really changed enough to allow a laugh? "That's probably true," WuFei agreed in a joking manner. Duo felt as if he were watching another person in that moment.

With a certain mixture of shock and awe, Duo did not know how to respond. How quickly the conversation had turned from serious to light hearted. Feeling upstaged as the one who usually tried to lighten the mood, Duo sat in silence for a moment. "I wouldn't be so quick to judge, you've never had it all together either. Although admittedly, you seem to have it really together right now, I'm happy for you."

"Why don't you share some of it with me? Come to dinner tonight at my house tonight," WuFei offered.

Despite feeling solitary in his chair, he decided to accept the offer of companionship. "Sure I'll come. I'd love to meet your wife, and that little boy of yours. If he's half as tough as his father, I'll be sure to have my guard up."

WuFei smiled at the comment. "I have to keep my own guard up. He's a fighter, but hopefully he'll never have to in the same way as I." For a brief moment an understanding grew between the two of them, as they both understood completely what was meant by that comment. No one other than the other Gundam pilots could have. "I'm glad to hear you'll come. I'd hate to have disappointed Clarissa, I told her you and Hilde were coming before I left to come this morning."

In a similar fashion, Duo smiled as well. In a joking tone he claimed "I have no other choice." He paused momentarily, "I already told Hilde to bring our things there while I came here."

At the comment they both laughed, as good friends laugh.

_Author's Note:_

It has been six years since I last wrote a Gundam Wing story. _The Meteor Program, _under the account 'Ghost of Fish and Bardic Jester', was a fun story but I was young when I wrote it and there are many faults with it. I've wanted for a while now to revisit Gundam Wing and to play with the parts I liked. I hoped you liked it!

I wrote this story as a One Shot, but I may continue writing. If you would like me to write another chapter, write a review to let me know!_  
_


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